This morning I did something that was very uncommon for me and a bit uncomfortable. But it was good for me in more ways than I had considered.
I have been trying to get time to exercise, but with five active teenagers in the house, along with work and other responsibilities, time to take care of myself doesn't always happen. I got a crazy idea in my mind that I would just get up earlier and go to the YMCA before anyone got up and the busy day began. I am not by any means a morning person and 5 am comes very early (especially when you stay up late watching a certain football game!). But thanks to my wonderful husband hearing my alarm clock (and asking what was wrong with me for setting it that early!) I got up and headed to the YMCA.
It was a cold walk from my car to the door, so I didn't concern myself with the normal worries of a fat girl walking in a gym. I was proud of myself for even being awake, let alone out of the house! I made my way to the track to begin walking; that's when the fear hit me. I was the only one n the track. Normally I would enjoy having the time to myself, not having to dodge between people. Instead, I let my mind wander. As I walked I looked at the people who were playing basketball on the courts beneath me. In my mind, they were all looking up at me and mocking me.
I was sure that these people (who probably didn't even notice my existence!) were all talking about me. In my head they were wondering why I was walking the track instead of working out in the gym; everyone else was in the gym, after all. Before I had walked a half mile I had a whole bully situation complete in my mind as was certain that these people hated me and were busy mocking me. It was like I was back in middle school.
This is a problem that I have struggled with my entire life. I share this with you not so point out my struggles, but to open myself up so that others who struggle with the same will know that they are not alone. But let me also share with you what I did for the rest of my time walking.
After I realized that I had allowed my mind to "go there" again, that I needed to change my thinking right then and there. I looked at the people playing basketball and considered them with a reasonable mind; it was obvious that they had no clue I was even up there walking. They hadn't given me a single thought, let alone the negative things that I was thinking about myself. It was all in my head. That may sound simple, but for me, that was work.
Once I realized that I was letting my mind wander places that it should not go, I began to make myself think of what I was doing and why I was doing it; not allowing myself to compare myself to others. I was walking for my health. I had gotten up very early, which was very hard for me and walking just to take care of myself.
As I walked and filled my mind with thoughts of how I should be proud of myself, I began to hold my head a little higher. There was more of a skip in my step. I was listening to music as I walked and began praising God for allowing me to get up, walk, and to see that I am worthy even though I am constantly trying to tell myself that I am not.
Maybe this post is more for me, or maybe you (or someone you know) can benefit from this as well. We can't allow ourselves to believe the lies that fill our mind informing us that we are not good enough. Each and every person is a creation of the Almighty God. We cannot compare ourselves to anyone else, but instead it is important to remember how precious we are. The God of the universe not only created you but loves you dearly. You are worth so much that He came down from Heaven and gave His life for you. He does not want you to live a life of defeat. He wants you to understand how wonderful you are.
We also cannot let the lies of our past enter into our thoughts. I was told from a very young age how very worthless I was. This is a huge reason as to why I battle these thoughts so often even to this day. But I have to accept that these people were wrong and I cannot let their lies and bitterness have any room in my mind at all. When I start to have these feelings and concerns, I have to make a choice to not allow them in my head. This is not an easy thing. If it was, I wouldn't be writing this post because I would no longer be struggling with it. It is a daily struggle. But the good news is that it gets easier every day. With the help of our amazing God, I am able to push these things out of my head, making room for Him to show me that He loves me and that I am worth more than I could ever imagine. Praise God for showing me these things. I hope and pray that you can see these things as well and realize your own self-worth. If you need a reminder, message me and I'll be glad to walk with you through this journey of finding out just how precious you are.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Opinions and Emotions
Like Trump, like Obama.
Pro-choice, Pro-life.
City, country.
Rock, rap.
Tomato, tomahhhhtoe.
These are choices. You pick one or the other. Or maybe you don't like either. Perhaps you like both. Regardless, you use your own convictions and pick which side of the fence you will stand on. At least that's how it used to be. What happened to this country that we no longer can each have our own opinion, but instead believe that everyone must agree with us or die?
On a positive note, it is good to see people caring and speaking with passion. But we cannot let our emotions fuel everything that we do. In America, we can voice our opinions, we can even protest, but why does everything have to be a never-ending debate that goes on and on and on and on. Recently, I have seen choices lead to destroying friendships, breaking up families and just flat out causing major hate. I have only one thing to say about that... Come on people!
This makes me so very sad! However, I would've thought that after the inauguration we could actually get back to living our lives again, sadly this is not the case. Not for either side. The debating and the rudeness continues. Nasty pictures and bitter words flood social media. Protesters still flood the streets and even hang from high places trying to make their point.
Let me be clear, I am not against a peaceful protest; it's not how I would deal with something but if that is how someone wants to handle things it is their right to do so. But the nastiness and bitterness just needs to stop. We are showing no class and no love for each other. And yes, a lot of this is coming from Christians, why are we acting like the world?
We all have had our chance to speak. It's time to end the debates and end the nastiness. Can we all just be human again? Black, white. Democrat, Republican. Christian, Atheist. We all still have one thing in common; we are all still human. We can agree to disagree and live together in unity. Otherwise we will just kill each other off. There is far too much hate in this country.
I am speaking to myself as much as I am to anyone. I am very passionate about being pro-life. I know very personally the pain that abortion causes and I want to tell the world that this is about more than just a simple choice and a clump of cells. However, I have many friends that are pro-choice and who disagree with me. I don't hate the people who disagree with me. I understand that they are people with their own mind and convictions. That is how God made them and it is up to God to show them right from wrong, not me. I have to remind myself that I cannot let my emotions control me in my speech or deed.
I have caught myself recently sharing a post on Facebook or getting into a debate. I have to remind myself that while it's ok for me to speak my mind, there has to be a point where you say "enough is enough" and just let it die. The president will be the president regardless of how many times I stand and say whether I like him or not. People will disagree with others and want to say that they deserve more. People will march against something whether I agree or not and they will dress up in nasty costumes and say nasty things. But that doesn't mean that I have to share them; or even give them a second of my time.
The more times someone shares a post with these pictures or comments on a post from the media (which is a huge part of this problem, there is no debate about that) we are giving the troublemakers exactly what they want. It is time to stop giving these people the attention that they so desperately want. We are the ones keeping it alive. We have to let it go.
The Bible tells us that love covers a multitude of sins. That if we have an enemy we are to pray for them. That vengeance belongs to God. Let's let Him have it. Maybe we should stay out of the way and let Him do His work. Let us pray... instead of fight!
Pro-choice, Pro-life.
City, country.
Rock, rap.
Tomato, tomahhhhtoe.
These are choices. You pick one or the other. Or maybe you don't like either. Perhaps you like both. Regardless, you use your own convictions and pick which side of the fence you will stand on. At least that's how it used to be. What happened to this country that we no longer can each have our own opinion, but instead believe that everyone must agree with us or die?
On a positive note, it is good to see people caring and speaking with passion. But we cannot let our emotions fuel everything that we do. In America, we can voice our opinions, we can even protest, but why does everything have to be a never-ending debate that goes on and on and on and on. Recently, I have seen choices lead to destroying friendships, breaking up families and just flat out causing major hate. I have only one thing to say about that... Come on people!
This makes me so very sad! However, I would've thought that after the inauguration we could actually get back to living our lives again, sadly this is not the case. Not for either side. The debating and the rudeness continues. Nasty pictures and bitter words flood social media. Protesters still flood the streets and even hang from high places trying to make their point.
Let me be clear, I am not against a peaceful protest; it's not how I would deal with something but if that is how someone wants to handle things it is their right to do so. But the nastiness and bitterness just needs to stop. We are showing no class and no love for each other. And yes, a lot of this is coming from Christians, why are we acting like the world?
We all have had our chance to speak. It's time to end the debates and end the nastiness. Can we all just be human again? Black, white. Democrat, Republican. Christian, Atheist. We all still have one thing in common; we are all still human. We can agree to disagree and live together in unity. Otherwise we will just kill each other off. There is far too much hate in this country.
I am speaking to myself as much as I am to anyone. I am very passionate about being pro-life. I know very personally the pain that abortion causes and I want to tell the world that this is about more than just a simple choice and a clump of cells. However, I have many friends that are pro-choice and who disagree with me. I don't hate the people who disagree with me. I understand that they are people with their own mind and convictions. That is how God made them and it is up to God to show them right from wrong, not me. I have to remind myself that I cannot let my emotions control me in my speech or deed.
I have caught myself recently sharing a post on Facebook or getting into a debate. I have to remind myself that while it's ok for me to speak my mind, there has to be a point where you say "enough is enough" and just let it die. The president will be the president regardless of how many times I stand and say whether I like him or not. People will disagree with others and want to say that they deserve more. People will march against something whether I agree or not and they will dress up in nasty costumes and say nasty things. But that doesn't mean that I have to share them; or even give them a second of my time.
The more times someone shares a post with these pictures or comments on a post from the media (which is a huge part of this problem, there is no debate about that) we are giving the troublemakers exactly what they want. It is time to stop giving these people the attention that they so desperately want. We are the ones keeping it alive. We have to let it go.
The Bible tells us that love covers a multitude of sins. That if we have an enemy we are to pray for them. That vengeance belongs to God. Let's let Him have it. Maybe we should stay out of the way and let Him do His work. Let us pray... instead of fight!
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Be You, Let Them Be Them
I am so sad to see all the division in our world today. Sadly, there have always been division lines between race or religion (which I totally disagree with, but I will get to that later.) but division is no longer against groups, it is simply against people. Everyone is an individual, but it seems that the current attitude is that all people are their own island and superior to each other.
This is a very dangerous belief. We live in a world where we have to communicate with others. Even if you live far out in the country, you still have to have relationships with others. Humans were created as social beings. When we isolate ourselves into thinking that we are better than everyone else we are essentially deciding that no one is worthy of social interaction with us unless we are in control. This has caused a self-absorbed, arrogant world.
We as a society need to get back to a place where freedom reigns again. Everyone should be able to be free to be themselves and to be accepted, appreciated and loved. God did not create us all the same; He gave us all different abilities to keep everything interesting, not so we would go against each other. We should celebrate the differences in each other and see how they cause us to fit together perfectly like a puzzle instead of mocking each other and thinking of others as less than.
The truth of the matter is we are all sinners. Not one person is perfect; we all have our struggles. One person is really good at one thing and really bad at another; this is a condition that is common to all humans. So we can stop picking on each other!! It shouldn't matter about anyone's skin color, religion or length of their hair. Where a person is from doesn't matter or how much money they have in the bank. You can always find someone who is better off than you, but you can also always find someone who is worse off than you.
I won't get into the reasons of why I believe we have become so divided. At this point, I don't even think the "why" matters anymore. All that matters is that we wake up and stop. Stop judging. Stop mocking. Stop thinking we are better or less than. Instead, we need to start! Start loving. Start accepting. Start finding ways to bridge the gaps and get along. Realize that we are all alike. Let us become one group of people, rather than individuals refusing to stand together.
This is a very dangerous belief. We live in a world where we have to communicate with others. Even if you live far out in the country, you still have to have relationships with others. Humans were created as social beings. When we isolate ourselves into thinking that we are better than everyone else we are essentially deciding that no one is worthy of social interaction with us unless we are in control. This has caused a self-absorbed, arrogant world.
We as a society need to get back to a place where freedom reigns again. Everyone should be able to be free to be themselves and to be accepted, appreciated and loved. God did not create us all the same; He gave us all different abilities to keep everything interesting, not so we would go against each other. We should celebrate the differences in each other and see how they cause us to fit together perfectly like a puzzle instead of mocking each other and thinking of others as less than.
The truth of the matter is we are all sinners. Not one person is perfect; we all have our struggles. One person is really good at one thing and really bad at another; this is a condition that is common to all humans. So we can stop picking on each other!! It shouldn't matter about anyone's skin color, religion or length of their hair. Where a person is from doesn't matter or how much money they have in the bank. You can always find someone who is better off than you, but you can also always find someone who is worse off than you.
I won't get into the reasons of why I believe we have become so divided. At this point, I don't even think the "why" matters anymore. All that matters is that we wake up and stop. Stop judging. Stop mocking. Stop thinking we are better or less than. Instead, we need to start! Start loving. Start accepting. Start finding ways to bridge the gaps and get along. Realize that we are all alike. Let us become one group of people, rather than individuals refusing to stand together.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Perspective:The World Is What You Make It
As the world awaited the coming of the new year the same old expectations began rising up. As I watched Facebook I saw the typical phrases, "New year, new me", "Let's make this year count!", "January 1st is coming, we can have a new, fresh start, let's go!" It's the same every year and I'm used to it by now. However there was one that really got me thinking; "I hope 2017 is better than 2016!" I can assure you, the change of the year on the calendar will not make things better for you.
There was a time in my life (the majority of my life actually!) when I would have said the very same thing. But God has been working with me on those thoughts this past year and I'd like to share with you what He has been showing me.
The first important lesson is that life is hard. It doesn't matter what your situation is, rich or poor, white or black, busy or bored, life is going to have it's hard times. There will always be problems, there will always be deaths, there will always be drama. We can be sure of this just as sure as we can be that the sun will come up in the morning. Once we get a handle on that truth then we can better deal with problems when they come. Don't be surprised, don't let it catch you off guard, be expecting it, and be prepared, then it will be bearable.
The other side of that, and this can be just a surprising to some, life can be good as well! The hard ties may last for what seems like forever, but there are good things in this life. We take advantage of this so often. Even in the worst of times there are always things that we can reach out and grab a hold of that are good. Special blessings that we may not notice otherwise. A cool wind on a hot day. Running into a friend at the store when things are rough. A hug from an innocent child. Maybe even just a smile from someone you don't even know. Personally that has blessed me recently, just knowing that the whole world isn't against me and that things might just be ok after all. Sometimes we have to look hard for these blessings, but they are there.
With the knowledge that there are going to be both good times and bad times, you now have a choice. Where are you going to put your focus? Sadly, I have lived the majority of my life focusing on the bad. I complain about the cold outside and ignore the fact that I have a warm house to live in. I might feel sad that I can't have a steak but forget that I have a kitchen full of good food and the gift of being able to cook it. I get frustrated because my kids are loud instead of being grateful that they are here and healthy.
We have become a society of complainers, but we are blessed beyond measure. That is why we wonder every year if things will be better on January 1st than they were on December 31st. The answer to that question is that it depends on you. It is all in your perspective and how you see things. The old adage "There is always someone who is worse off" is so very true. Yes, you can always find someone who is better off than you; they could have more money, more friends, more security, whatever, but there is also always someone who is worse off than you. Do you want 2017 to be the best year ever? Start looking for the good in everything. Don't let the bad things get you down. Take your time working through the issues, then leaven them in the past and don't allow yourself to get bitter.
Would you like to test my theory out? Take a stroll through Walmart; smile and be pleasant to everyone you run into. Some will be rude, some will probably make you want to explode, but look at them, smile and say "Hello, have a great day!" When you walk out of that store, not only will you have made someone else's day brighter, you will notice that your mood will be better as well. I have tried it. It amazed me. Go ahead, make 2017 the best year ever! It's all in your perspective.
There was a time in my life (the majority of my life actually!) when I would have said the very same thing. But God has been working with me on those thoughts this past year and I'd like to share with you what He has been showing me.
The first important lesson is that life is hard. It doesn't matter what your situation is, rich or poor, white or black, busy or bored, life is going to have it's hard times. There will always be problems, there will always be deaths, there will always be drama. We can be sure of this just as sure as we can be that the sun will come up in the morning. Once we get a handle on that truth then we can better deal with problems when they come. Don't be surprised, don't let it catch you off guard, be expecting it, and be prepared, then it will be bearable.
The other side of that, and this can be just a surprising to some, life can be good as well! The hard ties may last for what seems like forever, but there are good things in this life. We take advantage of this so often. Even in the worst of times there are always things that we can reach out and grab a hold of that are good. Special blessings that we may not notice otherwise. A cool wind on a hot day. Running into a friend at the store when things are rough. A hug from an innocent child. Maybe even just a smile from someone you don't even know. Personally that has blessed me recently, just knowing that the whole world isn't against me and that things might just be ok after all. Sometimes we have to look hard for these blessings, but they are there.
With the knowledge that there are going to be both good times and bad times, you now have a choice. Where are you going to put your focus? Sadly, I have lived the majority of my life focusing on the bad. I complain about the cold outside and ignore the fact that I have a warm house to live in. I might feel sad that I can't have a steak but forget that I have a kitchen full of good food and the gift of being able to cook it. I get frustrated because my kids are loud instead of being grateful that they are here and healthy.
We have become a society of complainers, but we are blessed beyond measure. That is why we wonder every year if things will be better on January 1st than they were on December 31st. The answer to that question is that it depends on you. It is all in your perspective and how you see things. The old adage "There is always someone who is worse off" is so very true. Yes, you can always find someone who is better off than you; they could have more money, more friends, more security, whatever, but there is also always someone who is worse off than you. Do you want 2017 to be the best year ever? Start looking for the good in everything. Don't let the bad things get you down. Take your time working through the issues, then leaven them in the past and don't allow yourself to get bitter.
Would you like to test my theory out? Take a stroll through Walmart; smile and be pleasant to everyone you run into. Some will be rude, some will probably make you want to explode, but look at them, smile and say "Hello, have a great day!" When you walk out of that store, not only will you have made someone else's day brighter, you will notice that your mood will be better as well. I have tried it. It amazed me. Go ahead, make 2017 the best year ever! It's all in your perspective.
Friday, November 25, 2016
"Step" Kids
When describing children, "step" is not a word that I like to use. It is the word that our society has chosen to describe a child who belong to your spouse but not you. Personally, I do not think that this is a fair term. I think that using the term step makes the person, whether it be the step-child or the step-parent seem like they are less than. I think that it is important that we stop drawing these lines and making people, children and parents alike, feel less than.
When it comes to these "step" situations, I have been on all sides. I have had step-parents which obviously also makes me a step-child. I also married a man who had kids from a previous marriage making me a step-mom, and my husband became "step" dad (and eventually adoptive dad) to my son. There is not one side of this situation that I have not personally been on and I can tell you with complete honesty that drawing these lines and making anyone feel less than or different is wrong.
As a child, whenever I was called the step-daughter I would cringe. I knew that I was not good enough and that I could not compare to my step-mom's daughter. I was just the baggage that came along with my step-mom's new husband. Somehow, we all knew that there was some weird imaginary line that divided us all with-in our home. We could never be a family because my brother and I were never looked on as true members of the family rather than that annoying kids that had no other choice but to be there.
I remember when I married my husband a family member asked me "Are you sure that you want to do this?" She wasn't asking if I wanted to marry this man, but if I was positive that I wanted to get involved in a step-parent situation because she knew how bad it could be. I told her I absolutely was sure that I wanted to. I was excited that not only was I getting a husband but that I was inheriting two daughters as well. I never wanted to take anything away from their mom, but I was happy to call them my daughters and excited for our new family. For me, the division line was never there because I knew how painful that invisible line could be. My husband did the same for my son. From the second we met, my husband was daddy to my son. We never considered him step-dad, in fact this is the first time (nineteen years later) that term has ever been used to explain their relationship. He was daddy and as soon as we could afford it, we made that legal. We had what people would call a miss-matched family to begin with but it was our intention to blend us all into a beautiful family; his, mine and ours all together. That was the cry of my heart then and it still is today.
Being a step-parent has also had it's affect on me. There have been times when I have felt like I did not belong in my own home or even with my own husband because I was only the "step" parent. I was less than. Obviously, part of this is because of my upbringing and my unhealthy self-image and struggles with my own worthiness. However, it was also in part because those lines have been drawn and the typical "step" situation is one that causes division.
I have never understood why when people get married, all other family members become immediate family; cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, but kids; for some reason they have to have a separate title. No one needs to feel accepted more than those kids. They have already had their lives ripped apart by the parents separating. They are confused by mommy or daddy being with someone else. Maybe there's even other kids joining their families and sharing their living spaces with. Everything in their lives is confusing and hurtful. Why would we not just love on these kids and take the chance to tell and show them how special they are instead of simply calling them the "steps".
I should explain that I do understand the other side of this as well. I am a mother and I know the fear and resentment of having to share your child with someone that you are not with. However, it is not the child's fault, neither is it the fault of the new spouse. If your ex has a new mate and he or she is a good person then let them be a part of your children's lives. It can only be good if a child has many people that love them. You cannot stop them from spending time with the kids, so why try and make it miserable?
Additionally, if you marry someone that has kids, then you are a new parent; period. You have new children, not dirty rotten step kids. Love them like your own. Treat them like your own. You will be filled with joy that children bring. Yes, there will be problems, any relationship has that, but it will all be worth it in the end.
I think it is important that we as a society stop drawing these lines. Parents need to work together for the good of their kids, even if they no longer like each other. Stop thinking of yourselves and think of your kids and their happiness. Please stop making your kids and the new parents feel like they are not worthy. It is causing nothing but hurt and destruction. Truly, in this circumstance, love is all we need.
When it comes to these "step" situations, I have been on all sides. I have had step-parents which obviously also makes me a step-child. I also married a man who had kids from a previous marriage making me a step-mom, and my husband became "step" dad (and eventually adoptive dad) to my son. There is not one side of this situation that I have not personally been on and I can tell you with complete honesty that drawing these lines and making anyone feel less than or different is wrong.
As a child, whenever I was called the step-daughter I would cringe. I knew that I was not good enough and that I could not compare to my step-mom's daughter. I was just the baggage that came along with my step-mom's new husband. Somehow, we all knew that there was some weird imaginary line that divided us all with-in our home. We could never be a family because my brother and I were never looked on as true members of the family rather than that annoying kids that had no other choice but to be there.
I remember when I married my husband a family member asked me "Are you sure that you want to do this?" She wasn't asking if I wanted to marry this man, but if I was positive that I wanted to get involved in a step-parent situation because she knew how bad it could be. I told her I absolutely was sure that I wanted to. I was excited that not only was I getting a husband but that I was inheriting two daughters as well. I never wanted to take anything away from their mom, but I was happy to call them my daughters and excited for our new family. For me, the division line was never there because I knew how painful that invisible line could be. My husband did the same for my son. From the second we met, my husband was daddy to my son. We never considered him step-dad, in fact this is the first time (nineteen years later) that term has ever been used to explain their relationship. He was daddy and as soon as we could afford it, we made that legal. We had what people would call a miss-matched family to begin with but it was our intention to blend us all into a beautiful family; his, mine and ours all together. That was the cry of my heart then and it still is today.
Being a step-parent has also had it's affect on me. There have been times when I have felt like I did not belong in my own home or even with my own husband because I was only the "step" parent. I was less than. Obviously, part of this is because of my upbringing and my unhealthy self-image and struggles with my own worthiness. However, it was also in part because those lines have been drawn and the typical "step" situation is one that causes division.
I have never understood why when people get married, all other family members become immediate family; cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, but kids; for some reason they have to have a separate title. No one needs to feel accepted more than those kids. They have already had their lives ripped apart by the parents separating. They are confused by mommy or daddy being with someone else. Maybe there's even other kids joining their families and sharing their living spaces with. Everything in their lives is confusing and hurtful. Why would we not just love on these kids and take the chance to tell and show them how special they are instead of simply calling them the "steps".
I should explain that I do understand the other side of this as well. I am a mother and I know the fear and resentment of having to share your child with someone that you are not with. However, it is not the child's fault, neither is it the fault of the new spouse. If your ex has a new mate and he or she is a good person then let them be a part of your children's lives. It can only be good if a child has many people that love them. You cannot stop them from spending time with the kids, so why try and make it miserable?
Additionally, if you marry someone that has kids, then you are a new parent; period. You have new children, not dirty rotten step kids. Love them like your own. Treat them like your own. You will be filled with joy that children bring. Yes, there will be problems, any relationship has that, but it will all be worth it in the end.
I think it is important that we as a society stop drawing these lines. Parents need to work together for the good of their kids, even if they no longer like each other. Stop thinking of yourselves and think of your kids and their happiness. Please stop making your kids and the new parents feel like they are not worthy. It is causing nothing but hurt and destruction. Truly, in this circumstance, love is all we need.
Friday, November 18, 2016
Being Prepared... But Wait, There's More
In my Examen (Pretty cool Devotional Site!) today I read an old familiar verse. I have read this passage of Scripture countless times but I noticed a little more today. Don't you love how the Word of God is so alive that it brings fresh hope every time you read it! God is so good He is constantly amazing me!
The verse that I am referring to is 1 Peter 3:15 which says "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." (New International Version). Now this verse is pretty simple, right? We as Christians should always be ready to tell people about Jesus. He is our Hope, our Rock, our Salvation, our Everything. We are living in a lost world that is desperate for us to shine His light and tell them how amazing He is.
What does this look like? Does this mean that we have to stand on every street corner and scream the name of Jesus? Well occasionally maybe but no, this is not what this means at all. God is telling us that as we go about our day, we need to be ready to talk about Him at any moment. For example, maybe you are at the grocery store and you notice a woman crying. Go to her and pray with her; tell her that Jesus loves her. There may be an old lady that cannot pay for the milk she is trying to buy. Hand the cashier the money and tell her that God loves her. These could be simple things that gives an answer to the hope that lies within you. It could be simple things, or much more complicated. In any instance, be ready and be His light.
However, as I eluded to in the title of this blog post, there is more. It is funny to me that people can sometimes rattle off a verse from the Bible but not be able to tell you what it says before or after (myself included!). As always, God does not give us a command and leave us wondering how to follow through with the order. In 1 Peter 3:15b-16 God tells us, "But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (New International Version).
I honestly believe that if more Christians would live the rest of the passage of Scripture out we would have a lot less problems in the world; especially current day America! We can't just yell "Turn or burn!!" It is just as important to show love and explain why the need for Jesus as it is to tell about Jesus. That is what the rest of this verse is saying. Speaking about God in love and respect not only tells people about Jesus, it also shows them. If we as Christians would follow this command properly, there would be a lot less people saying "I'll never go back to that church again, they are such hypocrites!" The lost world instead would see that we have a hope for a reason. That Jesus really is loving, merciful and kind. Imagine with me for a moment, how truly wonderful things would be if we showed Christ's love with our words and our actions. It is a beautiful image.
Which leads me to the final part of this verse. We are to do this so that we will have a clear conscience and anyone who speaks bad of us will have no real offense to speak of. They will be ashamed of their slandering ways because no fruit can come of it. Instead of the world making fools of the church, the ones who choose to slander will be made to look like fools. In essence, the good guys win out in the end! Nothing is better than that.
So you can see that in these two short verses God has provided for us a command, instructions on how to follow through as well as the reasoning for doing so. God does not leave us hanging. He always provides for his children. I love that so much and it gives me such comfort.
I probably should confess, in writing this I am not trying to point fingers at anyone; unless possibly myself. I am speaking to myself as much as anyone else. This is just what I have taken from my time with God today and thought I would share with anyone who might be interested. I hope you have been blessed by reading this. please feel free to comment or share. I love to start conversations and discuss these things. Have a wonderful day, my friends :)
The verse that I am referring to is 1 Peter 3:15 which says "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." (New International Version). Now this verse is pretty simple, right? We as Christians should always be ready to tell people about Jesus. He is our Hope, our Rock, our Salvation, our Everything. We are living in a lost world that is desperate for us to shine His light and tell them how amazing He is.
What does this look like? Does this mean that we have to stand on every street corner and scream the name of Jesus? Well occasionally maybe but no, this is not what this means at all. God is telling us that as we go about our day, we need to be ready to talk about Him at any moment. For example, maybe you are at the grocery store and you notice a woman crying. Go to her and pray with her; tell her that Jesus loves her. There may be an old lady that cannot pay for the milk she is trying to buy. Hand the cashier the money and tell her that God loves her. These could be simple things that gives an answer to the hope that lies within you. It could be simple things, or much more complicated. In any instance, be ready and be His light.
However, as I eluded to in the title of this blog post, there is more. It is funny to me that people can sometimes rattle off a verse from the Bible but not be able to tell you what it says before or after (myself included!). As always, God does not give us a command and leave us wondering how to follow through with the order. In 1 Peter 3:15b-16 God tells us, "But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (New International Version).
I honestly believe that if more Christians would live the rest of the passage of Scripture out we would have a lot less problems in the world; especially current day America! We can't just yell "Turn or burn!!" It is just as important to show love and explain why the need for Jesus as it is to tell about Jesus. That is what the rest of this verse is saying. Speaking about God in love and respect not only tells people about Jesus, it also shows them. If we as Christians would follow this command properly, there would be a lot less people saying "I'll never go back to that church again, they are such hypocrites!" The lost world instead would see that we have a hope for a reason. That Jesus really is loving, merciful and kind. Imagine with me for a moment, how truly wonderful things would be if we showed Christ's love with our words and our actions. It is a beautiful image.
Which leads me to the final part of this verse. We are to do this so that we will have a clear conscience and anyone who speaks bad of us will have no real offense to speak of. They will be ashamed of their slandering ways because no fruit can come of it. Instead of the world making fools of the church, the ones who choose to slander will be made to look like fools. In essence, the good guys win out in the end! Nothing is better than that.
So you can see that in these two short verses God has provided for us a command, instructions on how to follow through as well as the reasoning for doing so. God does not leave us hanging. He always provides for his children. I love that so much and it gives me such comfort.
I probably should confess, in writing this I am not trying to point fingers at anyone; unless possibly myself. I am speaking to myself as much as anyone else. This is just what I have taken from my time with God today and thought I would share with anyone who might be interested. I hope you have been blessed by reading this. please feel free to comment or share. I love to start conversations and discuss these things. Have a wonderful day, my friends :)
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Stigmas Within the Church
I have been in the church scene my entire life. I have seen healthy churches, unhealthy churches, and even dead churches. I have been hurt terribly by church people and I have been loved my the people of the church. I have experienced it all. The joy and heartbreak can be overwhelming. I remember saying to my husband more than once, "I will never walk away from God but I am done with His people!" After years of struggling, I see how wrong that attitude was. God has given us people to help us through life. We are to assemble together, worship together, praise Him together and help one another. However there is one thing that is stopping this from happening for some people. Cliques and stigmas! I want to keep my focus right now on the stigma. There are just some things that people of the church will not allow to be deal with. This is very wrong. It is time that we as a church body stop choosing what is ok to talk about and what is not and just help each other deal with whatever is bothering us. We need to be there for each other in love and acceptance no matter what the issue, the very same way Jesus hung on the cross for every one of our sins.
There are many things that are acceptable in the church for people to discuss. For example, when someone is ready to divorce their spouse and God steps in to do a miraculous work saving the marriage the people rejoice. They should be rejoicing, this is a wonderful thing! But there are certain issues that the church will not touch as far as letting people know that they are willing to help them. Two things in particular that I am referring to is mental health issues and abortion.
For mental health issues, the church (I am speaking in general, there are healthy churches who are doing a wonderful job helping people.) tells its people that they just need to trust in God more. If someone was having a heart attack the pastor or leaders would never dream of saying "Just have more faith, read your Bible, pray more and you will be fine!" Of course they would call 911, escort the saint to the hospital, sit with the family and pray as the doctors did their work. However if that same person was having a mental breakdown, the church would tell them that they are not trusting in God enough. They honestly believe that since its a problem within the mind, the only help must be to have more faith.
What we need to see is that the brain is a part of the body just the same as the heart. Mental health issues as just as real as heart or lung issues and need dealt with professionally. We cannot just push a person aside telling them that they would be fine if they would just pray more. Mental health issues can be anything from chemical imbalances, hormonal issues, or many other things. We as a church need to show love and compassion. Additionally, we need to let them know that they can be comfortable coming to us with these problems. Talk about it often; bring it up and let the people know that it is common, it is a health issue and that it is ok. Stop making these people feel as if they as less than!
The second issue that I want to discuss is abortion. The church stands pretty firm on their belief on abortion. Generally, the people within the church will tell you that they are (at least mostly) pro-life and against abortion. But it can't stop there! I have seen people say (and share on social media) gruesome photos and shout "HOW COULD YOU KILL YOUR BABY?!" While it is true that abortion is killing a child, when these comments are being made it is not being considered how hurtful it is to the women who have already made this disastrous choice. Where are we for her? She is desperate for hope, yet no one is there. All she sees is judgement. The post-abortive woman knows that she is not welcome in the church to tell her story. How could she ever admit that she's done this horrible thing when the people constantly scream that she's a murderer! She finds no peace or forgiveness anywhere. So she remains in her silent prison. The sad part is, a lot of times she's already serving in the church, but she is keeping her secret because surely no one would ever love her or let her work in a ministry if they knew.
We as a church have to get past this. No one should ever be afraid to talk about their sins because we are all guilty. All sin is equally bad and all sin is equally covered by the precious blood of Jesus. Who are we to pick and chose what is acceptable and what is not? It's all unacceptable!! The only thing that makes any of us worthy is Jesus. We as a church must bring these things out into the forefront. We need to do whatever is necessary to make these people (and others!) welcome. We need to show them that we have open arms to love them and show them the way to forgiveness and healing. This is vital!
While I have much more that I could say on this topic, I will end with the Word of our amazing God in James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
There are many things that are acceptable in the church for people to discuss. For example, when someone is ready to divorce their spouse and God steps in to do a miraculous work saving the marriage the people rejoice. They should be rejoicing, this is a wonderful thing! But there are certain issues that the church will not touch as far as letting people know that they are willing to help them. Two things in particular that I am referring to is mental health issues and abortion.
For mental health issues, the church (I am speaking in general, there are healthy churches who are doing a wonderful job helping people.) tells its people that they just need to trust in God more. If someone was having a heart attack the pastor or leaders would never dream of saying "Just have more faith, read your Bible, pray more and you will be fine!" Of course they would call 911, escort the saint to the hospital, sit with the family and pray as the doctors did their work. However if that same person was having a mental breakdown, the church would tell them that they are not trusting in God enough. They honestly believe that since its a problem within the mind, the only help must be to have more faith.
What we need to see is that the brain is a part of the body just the same as the heart. Mental health issues as just as real as heart or lung issues and need dealt with professionally. We cannot just push a person aside telling them that they would be fine if they would just pray more. Mental health issues can be anything from chemical imbalances, hormonal issues, or many other things. We as a church need to show love and compassion. Additionally, we need to let them know that they can be comfortable coming to us with these problems. Talk about it often; bring it up and let the people know that it is common, it is a health issue and that it is ok. Stop making these people feel as if they as less than!
The second issue that I want to discuss is abortion. The church stands pretty firm on their belief on abortion. Generally, the people within the church will tell you that they are (at least mostly) pro-life and against abortion. But it can't stop there! I have seen people say (and share on social media) gruesome photos and shout "HOW COULD YOU KILL YOUR BABY?!" While it is true that abortion is killing a child, when these comments are being made it is not being considered how hurtful it is to the women who have already made this disastrous choice. Where are we for her? She is desperate for hope, yet no one is there. All she sees is judgement. The post-abortive woman knows that she is not welcome in the church to tell her story. How could she ever admit that she's done this horrible thing when the people constantly scream that she's a murderer! She finds no peace or forgiveness anywhere. So she remains in her silent prison. The sad part is, a lot of times she's already serving in the church, but she is keeping her secret because surely no one would ever love her or let her work in a ministry if they knew.
We as a church have to get past this. No one should ever be afraid to talk about their sins because we are all guilty. All sin is equally bad and all sin is equally covered by the precious blood of Jesus. Who are we to pick and chose what is acceptable and what is not? It's all unacceptable!! The only thing that makes any of us worthy is Jesus. We as a church must bring these things out into the forefront. We need to do whatever is necessary to make these people (and others!) welcome. We need to show them that we have open arms to love them and show them the way to forgiveness and healing. This is vital!
While I have much more that I could say on this topic, I will end with the Word of our amazing God in James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
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