My dad is buried in the very small town that I grew up in; Friendship, Ohio. He has been gone six years now. He is buried beside my brother and behind my grandparents. I spent a lot of time at this place, Friendship Cemetery, with my dad. We would visit graves and he would tell me stories of the family members that had gone on before us. He was a great story teller and I loved listening to his stories. I can still point out many of the graves and tell some of the stories; although not quite as good as he once did. Later on, we would visit my brother's grave. This would prove to be the hardest grave I would ever visit. My dad's health began failing so I would help him get down the hill and we would sit and talk about my grandparents and my brother. Neither of us had ever dreamed that my brother would be gone so soon; but there it was, his name on a headstone.
Friendship Cemetery became a place that I would visit every time that I would travel to my hometown so today was no different. It was as if my car automatically knows where to turn and where to stop. It sometimes feels like a magnet is drawing me there at times. My entire childhood is laying there in their graves in one block of the cemetery. I always wonder when I am there, "Why am I still here?" It has been a real struggle in my life since they have all passed.
But today is Father's day, so today is about my dad. I had the unexpected pleasure of being down home today, so I went to "visit" him. I sat at his grave and tried to clear away some of the grass and tidy it up a bit. I left a Father's Day card for him. Yes I know that he will never see it. I know that the rain will destroy the card eventually or some form of nature will destroy it. But I needed to leave it for him anyway. It's funny, if he were here he would ask me why I was littering. I promise daddy, this is the only littering that I will ever do.
So today as the rest of the country celebrates Father's Day I will celebrate by remembering. I remember how much he loved me. I remember the big smile that would quickly grow on his face when I would come to visit. I remember his beautiful blue eyes, the same ones that he gave me. I remember how he would take me out to look at the stars. I remember how he would tell me stories of our ancestors. I also remember how everyone told me not to blink and to not take things for granted. I didn't listen. My daddy is gone forever and I will not see him ever again in this life. But I will see him in my mind and he will always be there. So if you still have your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your loved ones with you please love them. Let them know how much they mean to you. Don't wait until it's too late and all that you have is a grave to visit. Conversations take a drastic turn when it becomes one-on-one with a stone.
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| The stone I made for my dad. |
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| My dad loved dogs. This little puppy "sleeps" all snuggled up between his and my brother's headstones. I sure wish I could snuggle up in my daddy's lap like I did when I was young. |
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| This is the headstone that my mom helped me make for my dad. I didn't have the money to buy him one so I tried desperately to make it look nice. The Bum Bowl was a football game played at my grandma's house every year at Thanksgiving. My dad's nickname was "Bum" |
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| The grave of my dad and my brother. I still blows my mind to think that this is all that is left of them. My heart breaks at the thought every time. This feeling will never end. |
Happy Father's Day Daddy. I love you. I miss you.
I wish you were still here.
