Lately I've been struggling in my Christian walk. Even before this whole COVID thing, I haven't been able to go to church in a very long time because I am a server and in my business, you work on Sundays. I haven't yet found a church that I could attend on Sunday evenings and my church doesn't have that option. So as I go about my daily struggle, I have been praying and asking God to take me back to the day I was saved. I wanted to remember the joy, the amazement and the acceptance that I felt that wonderful night. Then God reminded me that I envision things so much better when I write about them, so I decided to blog about it.
I had been living a life of wondering. Mental breakdowns, bad choices and bitterness had ruled my life so far and I had no clue that there was any life besides that. At twenty-three years old I had already been divorced, had a baby out of wedlock and had an abortion. I didn't go to college and had no direction in life except to raise my son the best I could, I adored him with all my heart and he was the only thing in life to look forward to that I had.
There was a guy that I worked with named Jason that I had felt drawn to. He was a Christian and was always singing hymns and praise songs. It was in a lumber yard, most of the people there were not very Christian friendly and most picked on him quite a bit. I was brought up in the church and would always get picked on for going to church so I felt the need to stand up for him. I was constantly telling the guys to leave him alone. After seeing me take a stand for him, Jason and I started to talk. He was telling me about the Bible and I started feeling drawn to read God's Word. One day, Jason told me about a Christmas play at his church. That would be the night my life changed forever.
Jason's church was in another town, about an hour away. He lived in yet another town, so we met half way and I followed him to the church. When we got there, I found out that Jason was actually in the play and we were among the first there because he had to have a practice run-through before. So I sat there by myself in an empty, very big church. That was a big thing for me because I had a fear of being alone. It left me alone to my thoughts and I had fought very hard in my past to never be alone with my thoughts.
But there I sat, totally alone and when people did start trickling in, I had no idea who they were and they didn't know me, so no one came to speak to me. I spent that time doing what I had always done when I was alone, thought about how miserable I was and hearing my thoughts betray me and tell me that I would never be a good person worthy of living, let alone do anything good. I fighting tears (something else that I NEVER let anyone see me do!) before the play even started.
A few scenes into the play I was transported. My body sat in a church full of strangers, but my soul seemed to be in a different dimension. It was like no one around me could see me or hear me. But I did hear a voice. To me, it was very audible and I knew exactly who this voice was. It was Jesus, I have no question about this. He asked me if I was finally sick of the life that I had been living. I quickly replied "YES!" I was totally broken. I literally felt as if my entire soul lay on the floor in a thousand pieces like a puzzle, desperate for someone to put me back together. (Yes, I am a very imaginative person.) God spoke to me and told me that He had always been with me and that He was waiting for my return to Him. He told me that He loved me and I asked how He could with all that I had done, tears now streaming down my face. I didn't see anything but I felt God wrap His amazing arms around me and tell me that He loved me regardless of what I had done. He told me that I was His child whether I felt like it or not and that He died for me. He wanted to know if I was ready to give my life to Him and begin living what can only be the true way to live, in Him. I told Him that I had nothing left; nothing left to offer. He told me all He wanted was me. I gladly accepted that invitation that night and have never regretted it since.
Now I realize that some may read this and laugh. God actually talking to me, like that happened, right? My answer is simple, yes! This wasn't a physical conversation, it was a spiritual one. I really can't explain it because I don't think that it's something that our finite minds con comprehend but I know without any shadow of a doubt that I was reborn that day. It was a miracle that has changed me totally. I didn't all the sudden become happy, I became full of joy. I had a completely different outlook on life when I walked out of the church that night.
About a month later, I was beginning to get involved in a church and had even met the man who would become my husband. I was setting out for a life in Christ. I went to work and I saw Jason. He had been driving an hour to work every day because there were no jobs available in his area. He told me one day that a transfer had been approved for him to work at the store nearer to his home. I told him that I believed that he had been there for me so he could help guide me to God. He said "Ya know, I think you're right and it was totally worth it. I'm so glad I could be a part of that for you." I thanked him for all he had done.
Other than him coming to my wedding a few months later, I have not seen Jason since. The story isn't about him, but I thank God for using him as a help to guide me to God. I will forever be thankful. I hope that God will use me as a "Jason" to someone. My life belongs to Jesus and I hope that people see that and that God will use me to guide others to Him. I guess I just needed to go back to where it all began for me and I wanted to share it with you, my friends. Never forget, God is good. He is life-changing. He is the One True Way.
Thursday, April 23, 2020
Friday, April 17, 2020
Unicorns and Challenges
This blog has unfortunately been way more sporadic than I had hoped it would be. Lately, I have been wanting to devote more time to writing and have even joined a group to help me with that. One of the things that I have committed to is to use this blog more often. So I asked my fan base on Facebook to give me some ideas of things to write about. My number one fan, who is always there for me no matter what (my amazing husband) is the only reply that I got. While my husband is my rock, he also is at times a smart aleck and a silly goose and decided to give me something weird to write about. He said he wants to read about unicorns. Ok my love, challenge accepted.
So when I think of unicorns I usually go back to my childhood. Pretty little ponies with flowing manes and of course crazy colors. The beautiful creatures that we would see in a Lisa Frank coloring book were always some of my favorites, they were always so pretty. I knew that they were mythical but I have a very active imagination and could always see myself riding one through the air and it being my best friend. It was fun to imagine. But I never took it any farther than that because well, they're not real and I understood that.
When my husband asked me to write about unicorns, (Which if you didn't catch it, he was just being a goofball, he didn't really want to read about unicorns but he is now!) I figured I would do a little research and see what I could find to write about. Oh my was I surprised! People actually asking if unicorns are real and how to become one! It mad me sad for our society that has become so down and clueless. Or maybe they are all just being silly like my husband, who knows?
I got another shock when I found out that unicorns are actually mentioned in the Bible. "Really? I thought! No way!" So I looked it up and there it was in black and white. Unicorns are actually in the Bible. One verse is Psalm 92:10 and it says
There are other verses as well where unicorns are mentioned in Numbers and Deuteronomy. I couldn't believe it! Surely, they weren't talking about what we see as unicorns! So I changed the version of the Bible I was looking at and realized that they are only called unicorns in one of them; the King James Version. All of the others that I looked at referred to the animal as ox or oxen. Now maybe my husband who studies Hebrew and Greek can tell us why they would call an ox a unicorn, but I surely cannot. It will take more study to figure that one out.
I also found something that wasn't quite as shocking. People had asked if unicorns were extinct and they were answered with a website for the WWF that talks about the unicorn being in danger. I love their imagination and sense of humor in this! On the site, you scroll through some things that talk about what the horns are being poached for and why the unicorns are in danger, then about halfway down it says "Getting Real About Unicorns". The site then goes on to tell the reader that unicorns are not real but there is a real animal that is similar and in real need of help. That animal is the rhinoceros. WWF makes the connection and does a wonderful job showing the need for real help for this very real creature.
So I've given just three small things that I have found in my mini search for unicorns, "so what?" you ask. Am I just rambling? No, I've found a lesson in even this small, silly task. A few actually,
Lesson one is that you can find information about anything on the internet, Big deal, everyone knows that. But does everyone realize that just because it's on there that doesn't make it true? I sure hope all of the people asking if unicorns were real and how to become one were kidding, but knowing how society is these days, I'm not so sure. The lesson is that we need to be careful in the things we read on the internet and don't just automatically believe that they are true. I believe that may be part of the reason that we have sunken so low as a society is because we just openly believe anything that we hear.
The one thing that everyone doesn't just automatically believe when they hear it is the fact that God loves you so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for your sins. That's the most important thing to believe! But that also brings me to lesson number 2, taking things out of context. I could have just read that verse in Psalms and said "See, unicorns are real! It says so in the Bible!" Sadly, people do that all the time and it causes so much confusion and makes people turn away from the truth. You have to dig into the Word and see what it is truly saying. You can't take just one verse and make it what you want it to be.
Lesson three, be like the great folks at WWF. Be gentle and use things for good. Take something silly and use it to show a real need. But don't get stuck on the imaginary. It's ok to imagine, like I said I have a huge imagination. I can picture things that others can't and I love having that ability. But I have to recognize what's real and what's not. I was shocked when I found out that not everyone knows that. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back or anything, I'm just sharing what I have learned.
So thank you Cary, my wonderful husband. Thank you for the challenge that you probably didn't even realize that you were giving me (or maybe you did it on purpose?). Thank you for reminding me that there is a lesson in everything and that researching and digger deeper is always necessary to get the real truth. Ok, who's next? What's the next crazy thing you all would like for me to write about?
So when I think of unicorns I usually go back to my childhood. Pretty little ponies with flowing manes and of course crazy colors. The beautiful creatures that we would see in a Lisa Frank coloring book were always some of my favorites, they were always so pretty. I knew that they were mythical but I have a very active imagination and could always see myself riding one through the air and it being my best friend. It was fun to imagine. But I never took it any farther than that because well, they're not real and I understood that.
When my husband asked me to write about unicorns, (Which if you didn't catch it, he was just being a goofball, he didn't really want to read about unicorns but he is now!) I figured I would do a little research and see what I could find to write about. Oh my was I surprised! People actually asking if unicorns are real and how to become one! It mad me sad for our society that has become so down and clueless. Or maybe they are all just being silly like my husband, who knows?
I got another shock when I found out that unicorns are actually mentioned in the Bible. "Really? I thought! No way!" So I looked it up and there it was in black and white. Unicorns are actually in the Bible. One verse is Psalm 92:10 and it says
But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn:
I shall be anointed with fresh oil.
There are other verses as well where unicorns are mentioned in Numbers and Deuteronomy. I couldn't believe it! Surely, they weren't talking about what we see as unicorns! So I changed the version of the Bible I was looking at and realized that they are only called unicorns in one of them; the King James Version. All of the others that I looked at referred to the animal as ox or oxen. Now maybe my husband who studies Hebrew and Greek can tell us why they would call an ox a unicorn, but I surely cannot. It will take more study to figure that one out.
I also found something that wasn't quite as shocking. People had asked if unicorns were extinct and they were answered with a website for the WWF that talks about the unicorn being in danger. I love their imagination and sense of humor in this! On the site, you scroll through some things that talk about what the horns are being poached for and why the unicorns are in danger, then about halfway down it says "Getting Real About Unicorns". The site then goes on to tell the reader that unicorns are not real but there is a real animal that is similar and in real need of help. That animal is the rhinoceros. WWF makes the connection and does a wonderful job showing the need for real help for this very real creature.
So I've given just three small things that I have found in my mini search for unicorns, "so what?" you ask. Am I just rambling? No, I've found a lesson in even this small, silly task. A few actually,
Lesson one is that you can find information about anything on the internet, Big deal, everyone knows that. But does everyone realize that just because it's on there that doesn't make it true? I sure hope all of the people asking if unicorns were real and how to become one were kidding, but knowing how society is these days, I'm not so sure. The lesson is that we need to be careful in the things we read on the internet and don't just automatically believe that they are true. I believe that may be part of the reason that we have sunken so low as a society is because we just openly believe anything that we hear.
The one thing that everyone doesn't just automatically believe when they hear it is the fact that God loves you so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for your sins. That's the most important thing to believe! But that also brings me to lesson number 2, taking things out of context. I could have just read that verse in Psalms and said "See, unicorns are real! It says so in the Bible!" Sadly, people do that all the time and it causes so much confusion and makes people turn away from the truth. You have to dig into the Word and see what it is truly saying. You can't take just one verse and make it what you want it to be.
Lesson three, be like the great folks at WWF. Be gentle and use things for good. Take something silly and use it to show a real need. But don't get stuck on the imaginary. It's ok to imagine, like I said I have a huge imagination. I can picture things that others can't and I love having that ability. But I have to recognize what's real and what's not. I was shocked when I found out that not everyone knows that. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back or anything, I'm just sharing what I have learned.
So thank you Cary, my wonderful husband. Thank you for the challenge that you probably didn't even realize that you were giving me (or maybe you did it on purpose?). Thank you for reminding me that there is a lesson in everything and that researching and digger deeper is always necessary to get the real truth. Ok, who's next? What's the next crazy thing you all would like for me to write about?
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