There is a great debate raging in our country... no, in our world. Each side of this debate screams their point of view with great emotion. They bicker back and forth, picket certain events, even get laws changed every once in a while which sparks even more furious debating. Unfortunately, however, most people are missing some very important aspects that go a little further than a simple "choice". Like the proverbial "Can't see the forest for the trees" problem, many lives are being devastated from this debate and not just the ones that you might think.
"It's my body, my choice!" some say. "No one has the right to tell me what I will or won't do!" This side have opted to name themselves "pro-choice". They proudly scream to the world that abortion should be legal and no one should have any problem with it because what one does with their own body is not the business of anyone else. I used to believe this. I always said "Well, I would never have an abortion myself, but why should anyone say that another shouldn't do it?" Sadly, I found out in a very personal way just why this "choice" was more than simply deciding which pair of jeans I would wear on what day.
The other side of the debate is just as emotional; if not more. This side is known as pro-life. They believe that life begins in the womb and that every life should be protected and considered precious from the very beginning. These people work hard showing others how abortion is wrong and offer better options so that these women can see that they can go on with their pregnancy and that things will all be ok. This is very precious work that I have great respect for. I have been there with women as they find out that they are pregnant and have no clue what they will do. I have seen the fear in their eyes and showed them love and courage instead. I have known many women who have made the choice to continue their pregnancy and not one of them have ever said that they wished they had chosen abortion. However, as we get into this debate, we need to see that there are some important people that we are forgetting.
I'm sure that immediately you are thinking, "That's right, you're forgetting about the baby that's been aborted! What about that life?" Yes, that life is precious and needs to be remembered. However, that is not the life that I am talking about in this post. Please do not get me wrong, every single baby needs to be fought for and is very important, but there are other precious lives being forgotten. The mother. I've heard the arguments, "Well she chose to kill her child, I hope she hears those cries for the rest of her life!" Trust me, she does!
The pro-choice crowd says that abortion is just a choice and that a woman has every right to do it, but offers no help when she does. She is supposed to show up on that dreadful day, have the abortion, then go on with normal, everyday life. But guess what, there is no "normal" anymore. She is now a mother without a child. For all of eternity, she will always be a mother, but will never have pictures, stories of childbirth, beautiful memories of a child. She has only regret. Guilt. Shame. She probably left the abortion clinic feeling relieved, maybe she thought "problem solved!" but it is not long before these other feelings creep into her life. The even bigger problem, who can she go to?
People sometimes have a hard enough sharing their problems with others, even close friends, but how does "she" tell someone that she allowed a doctor to take her baby from her and that she feels bad for it? The world is always saying that it's ok so why does she feel so bad? If she does try to say something, she might get a well-meaning friend to say "oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you feel bad, but you know it was probably better off anyway!" This is not helpful either. This childless mother hears her baby's cries every night. She wonders if her baby felt the abortion. She wonders if her baby would hate her for what she did. She looks at all other children and wonders what her child would have looked like. She is no longer ale to commit to any relationship because she does not feel worthy. She believed the lie that the abortion would fix everything, but now she knows that it did not. She has no idea how to continue on with her life, and there is no one around to help her. She has no child, no hope, nothing but guilt and shame; and no where to go.
I have been there. Even though I once said that I would never have an abortion, one day I chose to do just that. I felt relief at first. Until the day I realized what I had done. I have nine children. Six are living. One I aborted and two miscarriages. I now understand that three of my children are living in heaven waiting for me to join them. But I also understand that I am forgiven. I now know that this was no an unpardonable sin and that there still can be a wonderful life after such a horrible situation. I spent many years in guilt and shame. Telling no one, but feeling dead inside. I know how the post-abortive woman feels because I am "her". There are many more women out there like me who are suffering terribly and fighting a world who has no place for them. It is my passion to show "her" the beauty of life after guilt and shame. In a world that forgets "her" for the fight at hand, I want "her" to know that she is loved and that she can see her child again. I want to teach "her" to live again. Other than serving my God and my family, this is my heart's desire and I am filled with so much passion for helping "her". For those who have been beaten down by this world and this fight; left out in the cold because she has served their purpose and they no longer need her, I will stand and help "her" up. Will anyone stand with me?
