My childhood was not the best. I don't say that to place blame on anyone, I am way past that. I say that just because it is fact and it helps explain some things in this post. Life is what we make it and we learn from the good but I'd say we probably learn even better from the bad things that we experience in our lives. This is just one example of something that I've learned.
When I was a young girl I didn't live with my mom. There were a lot of times that I was not allowed to see her and she lived three hours away so I was away from her a lot. When I was in middle school I was desperate for extra time with my mom and still not getting much. Again, I am not saying this for pity and to place blame, there is a point, please stay with me.
I grew up an awesome time when music was at its best (in my opinion anyway). Yes, if you haven't guessed it, I grew up in the eighties. Music has always been an important part of my life, but in the eighties there were quite a few songs that really helped me get through those hard times. One such song is the subject of this blogpost.
I was more into the hair bands, good ole rock n roll; Motley Crue, Poison, Bon Jovi, Guns n Roses, all those good ones. But I also liked some of the softer rock. Chicago was one of my favorites for the softer rock. They had a love song called "You're the Inspiration". Now this song was obviously written for a couples type of love, but in my state of mind at the time, I related it to a different kind of love.
The song starts "You know our love was meant to be, the kind of love that lasts forever. And I want you here with me, from tonight until the end of time." From the very first line, this song would be my love song to my mom. She and I were supposed to love each other forever. It was never meant to be a quick love, but mother and daughter together forever. We were supposed to be spending a lot of time together and she was supposed to be helping me grow and learn the ways of this crazy world. Unfortunately for us, that is not what God had planned. (But it's good in the end, so keep hanging on!)
The next verse had me thinking of my mom even more. "You should know everywhere I go, Always on my mind, in my heart, in my soul." Shouldn't moms be the one who always should know where a pre-teen girl goes? Shouldn't a mom always be always in a young girls heart, soul and mind? All the other girls had their moms to talk to. This song gave me hope to know that even though she wasn't with me, I was on my mom's heart. This song reminded me that my mom was my everything even if she wasn't right by my side.
Another verse talks about how its plain to see that we're so in love when we were together. How its clear to everyone that sees the couple how much they love each other and how special they are to each other. I would think about that when I would get to visit my mom and how others could tell that we were happy together. not in a couples love kind of way, obviously, but that we had a special relationship and loved each other and were happy to be together.
The chorus says "You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration. You bring feeling to my life, you're the inspiration. I wanna have you near me. I wanna have you near me saying, no one needs you more than I need you." This was the part where I'd start bawling. Who needs a mother more than a daughter? No one! When listening to this I would start screaming "No one needs you more than I need you!" I would yell out wishing desperately that she would hear and come get me. No matter what, a young girl needs her mom and nothing else is more important.
When I was a little older, Thanksgiving of the eighth grade year to be exact, I was allowed to move to my mom's house. I was so happy! But I had also grown to be very bitter. The young girl who had lived a lonely sad life in a small town was now finally living with her mom in a big city. No friends and no clue. I became quite the brat. So even though now I was finally spending every day with my mom, it wasn't long before I became bitter and rebelled and my poor mom got the brunt of it. It wasn't her fault and deep down I was just happy to be with her, but I was not nice.
In those dark days, I would turn this song off every time it came on. I refused to listen to it because I knew my attitude was wrong. I loved my mom so much, but I hadn't yet learned how to deal with my feelings and for some reason, just directed them all towards my mom; she was just the closest person around and the easiest target. Before you ask, yes, I've apologized profusely to my mom and I will even do so now. Mom, I know you're reading this. I'm so sorry for all the pain I put you through and I love you so much. I couldn't have made it this far without you. Thank you for never giving up on me!!
So now when I hear that song I have a number of emotions. I re-live my entire life when I hear You're the Inspiration. My lonely childhood flashes by and I feel sad, then my bitter, angry years and I'm filled with shame. Finally, my adult life, where I can see how special my mom is and how much I love her. She has done so much for me and in every part of my life, even when I was miserable and no one should have loved me, she was always there. On my mind, in my heart and in my soul. My inspiration. Love that I didn't deserve. Love just because.
Now I'm old. I've raised my own kids and have enjoyed seeing my mom be the best Momaw ever. I see how close she is to my kids and how much they adore her also. I see how blessed I am. I know that I was right in dedicating this song to my mom. She is an amazing woman. She has been through hell and make multiple times and she's still standing. She's still loving and forgiving; more than me that's for sure. I'm so lucky. I'm so blessed. Thank you mom so much for everything. I know I haven't been the best daughter, but I love you and appreciate you more than you'll ever know.
Peter Cetera and the rest of Chicago might have had a different idea in mind, but I'm so glad that they gave us this song, because it has taught me so much about life and how important moms are. No, how important MY mom is. I love you mom. 9
