If Joshua had lived, he would be 19 years old right now. He would be graduated from high school. There are so many questions that wander through my mind concerning my son. Would he have gone to college? Would he have a steady girlfriend? What would he have looked like? Would he have been athletic or musical like his siblings? So many things that I will always wonder about. I will never have the answers to these questions.
In His Word, God has the answers to all of life's questions. Romans 8:28 tells us "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. " (Holman Christian Standard Version). This verse has proven true both in my life and Joshua's death. Though I miss my son terribly, God has shown me life through Joshua's death. It was his death that brought me to the realization of my need for Christ. After my salvation, God used Joshua's death to show me more about His grace and forgiveness.
I went through a lot in dealing with the death of my son. There was a lot of guilt and shame, a lot of self-punishment. There were things that I was struggling with that I didn't even realize were due to Joshua's death. Through time and the help of friends, God carried me through and healed me from all of the struggled surrounding the death of my precious Joshua.
In addition to healing me, God has allowed me to help others find healing through him that are dealing with the loss of their children. He has allowed me to work one-on-one with many women and help them find healing. He has allowed me to talk to groups and my story and show them the need for post-abortion care. But God has also allowed me to write a book to assist in healing as well. I praise Him for this opportunity.
My book, The Journey, takes place where life left off. Joshua journeys to Heaven where he meets Jesus, family members who had gone on before and some Biblical saints as well. The first half of my books takes the reader through what I imagine Joshua experienced when he entered Glory. This part if fictional, obviously, but it is based on my belief and my hope for his eternal life.
The second half of The Journey is titled "Mommy's Journey" and chronicles my struggles with his death. Most of this second part of the book is true and is my own personal testimony written in story form. Some is made up and is what I wish to happen in the future.
Writing this book was so helpful to me. I truly consider The Journey a blessing straight from God and believe that Joshua would be very happy with it as well. However, this book is not just for me. It is meant to help women and men who struggle with the pain they suffer from being post-abortive. I have been blessed with hearing from others that it not only has helped people who struggle with a past abortion, but also past miscarriages as well.
I pray that The Journey continues to help men and women. I pray that people can find the amazing healing that only God can offer through reading my story. I also pray that women can see my struggles and understand that abortion is more than a choice but instead is a life-altering event that leaves a child dead and a mother (and father!) with feelings of guilt, shame and emptiness.
You can find a copy of The Journey here or I have copies on hand as well if you are interested in purchasing the book. If you have read The Journey and were blessed by it, please help me get the word out by writing a review and sharing this post. I do not want this shared for my benefit, but for the benefit of those struggling with this unimaginable pain. It is my heart's desire to help these men and women. There is hope. There is healing. There is still life.
