When I became a mom I gave up everything in my life so I could raise my babies. I was so happy to do this. My kids were my world and I wanted them with me every second. Sure they drove me insane like kids do, but I could not get enough of them. I adored them to the point of just thinking of them making my heart burn with love and I still do. But throughout the years nature became my enemy. As the saying goes, I blinked and my children grew up. All but one of my precious "babies" are now adults. They are wonderful, responsible, loving amazing people and I am so very proud of who they have become. I am crazy excited for what the future holds for them and I absolutely love them more than I could ever express. But I am also sad.
Today I am spending time cleaning out one of the two empty bedrooms. I am going to make it my office and plan on spending a lot of time in there writing. I will make it a nice "escape room" for when I am overwhelmed with life and use it often hopefully. But as I am cleaning this room out, today is also like a goodbye to a life I so dearly loved. As I sweep the floor I remember sweeping under a bed, or being frustrated that clothes and toys were once everywhere. I think of how many times I told my teenagers to get the water bottles or fountain pop cups out of there. I remember every place a bed has been in that room and look around at how empty it is now.
I recall when my son's girlfriend broke up with him and how he stayed in bed crying for what seemed like an eternity while I sat outside the door wishing there was something that I could do to take his pain away. Then I pictured my daughter being upset because her boyfriend was being a jerk. I am saddened when I recall sending my precious little ones to this very room to sit and think of how they had been bad. I recall how this was the "coveted room" at one point because since it was the smallest, it usually meant that if it was their room, they were in it alone and no longer sharing a bedroom with a sibling.
This one tiny space in this world holds so many memories, and most of them were taken for granted. We don't think about these things as we are raising our children. It is only when they are gone that the proverbial "light bulb" comes on in our minds. I am so very proud of my babies and am excited for this chapter in their lives. I still have one child at home and I'm sure I will blink again and her last four years as a child will be over and she will "fly out of the nest as well" and I will be excited for her new adventures just as I am for her siblings now. But a part of me is sad. It is almost like a funeral for me today. As I look around this empty room and consider all the life that has filled this room I can't help but be sad because it is gone. Life from this point on will never be the same. All I have left are memories and visits. I will cherish them and hold them so close to my heart until the day that I die.
I will enjoy my new office, but the memories will always be there. I will always think of my children when I am in that room and just how much I adore them and beg God to help them to know how precious and loved they are. I praise God for allowing me to be mommy to these precious eight souls. I will love them and be happy for them always, but there will always be a part of me wishing they were still little and needing me like they did then.
My "nest" is almost empty, but my heart is so full. Funny how we can be so sad and happy at the same time. Time marches on and we have just marched right into a new phase of life. I wasn't really ready for it, but it's here just the same.
When the youngest decided her friends names should be on the door. 
The light switch cover they made in VBS one year. 