Falling, falling, falling.
It seems that the last few weeks, for some reason, my emotions are just falling into depths unknown. There is no reason for this. Nothing bad has happened. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just typical, busy, crazy life.
So what is wrong with me? I have no idea. All of the sudden, back from wherever I buried it before, I'm crying at the drop of the hat.
...A stupid commercial comes on tv, tears.
...I don't get dinner done in time, tears.
...Oversleep because I'm so exhausted I can't get up anymore, tears.
...Look in the mirror, flood of tears!
I thought that I had this beat. I guess some would call it depression and tell me to take a pill every day. Some might tell me that I'm not right with God. Others will tell me that I need to do this or that. They probably would all be right.
But I've been down this road many times before. I don't understand why I keep coming back to this place. I don't feel like I belong, don't feel like anyone even cares, like why should I even matter. I know this is all wrong. I know that I'm a child of The King, yet I can't escape this pit. I just want to scream, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?"
I'm just tired. I just don't have the energy to fight this anymore. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of feeling helpless and alone. I'm tired of fighting, why bother when it just keeps coming back?! I don't understand this. But nothing that I can do. Guess I'm meant to just be sad. All I can do is make sure that I don't bring my loved ones down with me. Here comes the front. The hard outer shell that has been a part of me all of my life. It's fake and I can't stand it, but maybe it's the only way?
