I spent a lot of years feeling defeated. I was depressed, I felt lonely even though I had a large family around me always, I was over-weight and I felt that there was nothing that I could do to change any of this. No matter what I tried, I couldn't get myself out of this funk and I couldn't lose this weight that had attached itself to me. I didn't realize that no matter what I tried, there was one thing that I needed that no one else could give me.
I went to my doctor at the beginning of all of this and was put on anti-depressants. Being the kind of person who doesn't really like pills, I only took them for a few months then gave up. I still "felt" different. The pills didn't take it all away from me and I wasn't feeling better immediately. I thought that surely something was just wrong with me that even the pills couldn't help me. "Must just be in my make up" I thought. The right pill hadn't come along so there was something wrong with me. Little did I know that I actually was right, but in a different way. It was me. It was something that I was "doing" wrong, but not in the way that I was thinking.
The same thing that had happened to me with the depression happened with the weight loss. I Just kept gaining and couldn't lose the weight. As a teenager, I was skinny naturally. Of course I thought I was fat, but in reality I can see now that I was pretty thin. So weight loss was something I just didn't know. I ate whatever I wanted and expected it to just stay off. That doesn't happen when you age. Especially when there are health problems that cause more problems.
When my doctor retired, my family had to find a new doctor. As we went for the new patient intake, my doctor said the words that I had been dreading. "Mrs. Loughman, you are overweight." UGH!!! I was so embarrassed! I gave her the typical excuses that I had been touting. It was a medical issue. Nothing I did could take the weight off. All of this was true, to a point so I had no problem saying them. But I still didn't understand that I was still lacking something else.
The doctor gave me yet another pill. This was going to be my salvation. It was going to return me to my teenaged body and make me skinny again! I am not a pill taking person, but I gladly accepted this one and started taking it. Imagine my surprise when the fat didn't start melting away. I thought "Maybe it will just take some time." So I decided to give it a few months. Eventually, I started exercising, just a little bit. I would walk for short periods of time but still ate whatever I wanted. You guessed it, not much changed.
Then one day, a friend challenged me to join in a weight-loss effort with her. She gave me some tools to help me be a little more dedicated. I began trying really hard. I wasn't just exercising every once in a while, I wasn't still eating like a pig and expecting to wake up the next morning skinny as a rail. I put my mind and my energy to making it happen. Can you imagine what happened?
Now it is months later and I have lost thirty pounds. I have given myself a goal and still have twenty more pounds to go, but I am over half-way there! I feel good about myself and people compliment me on the success. In addition to the weight loss, I have been working hard to dealing with the depression.
What changed in me? The pills had an effect, but didn't get the job done. The same thing with the exercising and dieting. These things are very important, but the change in me didn't happen until I had the desire. I had determination. I decided somewhere deep in my soul that I was going to do the work to get this done.
As some people have been reading this, they may be thinking "Well... duh!" but let's think a little deeper on this. We live in a world where we expect everything quick and easy. The healthcare industry is all too happy to give us a pill to help with anything that we need. But now, we have a whole group of people who think that they are extra damaged because the pills aren't helping them.
Now, please don't get me wrong. I am NOT saying that people shouldn't take pills. I have some that I take daily and they are important. What I am saying is that we can't expect things to change by just taking a pill. We have to want the change from within ourselves. We have to be determined and understand that anything good requires some work. Life is not easy and things don't just fall out of the sky in reality except for snow and rain. Even then, it makes a mess. So why would we expect any less for our lives?
I was thinking about this as I was doing some morning work-out. I was sore. I was tired. I was hungry. I wanted to stop, or at least slow down. But I didn't. The reason I kept going was because I want this change. I want to lose these last twenty pounds. I want it bad enough to put the effort in to making it happen. I was thinking about how much time I wasted just trying to make things happen by just giving a little bit of effort. Maybe if I had actually tried, I would have already met my goal. But pressing forward, I will not give up.
When I do meet my goal, I will not slow down. In this journey to lose weight, I have changed my way of life. I have become determined to be happy. Notice I didn't say skinny. I have learned that it's not the "skinny" that matters. It's the health and happiness.
This isn't just a message for me. This is a message for life. It doesn't matter if the problem is weight loss and depression like it is for me, or drug addiction, or anything other problem. As I said before, there may be professional help needed and that is important to get, but nothing will change, no matter how much money you spend or how many pills you take. No change is going to happen until you get it in your own mind that you are going to do the work that it will take to get it done.
Do you want a change to happen? Be willing. Be determined. Work hard. Then be ready to enjoy success!!
