A New Life

Twenty-one years and nine months ago I was a young, free spirit. I could attempt to make that sound like a beautiful thing, but a better way of describing me would be dumb, selfish and irresponsible. I made a lot of mistakes. I lived for myself and didn't think too much about anything outside of my own little bubble and what I had going on at the moment.

I was 22 years old and while my family loved me, I'm sure that I was quite a disappointment to them in many of my lifestyle choices. Some have told me that they were certain that I would never grow up and take responsibility for my life. I really didn't care. I considered myself responsible and thought that I had it all together because I had a job and my own place and took care of myself. Then something happened to show me just how little grown up I actually was.

Somewhere around late May, early June of that year, 1996, I found out that I was pregnant. My world was going to change. My selfish days were over. My partying days were over. I was just going to be a mommy, and I was perfectly ok with that. I was later told by some family members that they were sure that I would not even so much as be able to wake up with the baby for the late night feedings. Had I not changed, they may have been right.

But I did change. I wasn't yet a Christian, but I can look back and be one hundred percent positive that God used that little baby to completely change my world. It feels like just yesterday that I was leaving my aunts house that night to go to the hospital, prepared for a long night of labor, although I had no clue what that meant or the pain that I would suffer bringing my precious baby boy into the world. I can still see his precious little newborn face staring up at me; so handsome, so frail, so wonderful.

This little man of mine taught me how to love. He taught me how to care for others and how I needed to care for myself so that I could be there for him He was the first to teach me about unconditional love. He was the first to show me an unbreakable bond. We spent a lot of time in your first year with just you and me. No one else around and just growing together as new mother and son. You will always hold a special part of my heart because you taught me how to be a mom. Because of you, God allowed me to have a new life.

We have had many ups and downs in the last twenty-one years, but through it all, you have grown to be an amazing young man. So talented, so caring and thoughtful, such a wonderful, beautiful soul. I am so proud of my baby boy. Though you will always be my baby boy, your time as a child is over. You are starting your own life and have already done so much better than I did when I was your age. I am proud to be your mom. I love you so much more than you'll ever even know. But I hope that you always know that no matter where you go in life, I will always love you more than anything. I will always be here for you. I will always have your back.

I love you so much baby boy. I hope you have an amazing birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!